NEW ELEMENT FOR THE PERIODIC TABLE

[AlaskaStar]

Subject: New Element discovered



The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new

element.



In early October [2005] a major research institution announced

discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium .."



Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy

neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of

312.



These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are

surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.



Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be readily detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

An infinitesimal amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!



Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

It has been determined that Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization cycle will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming greater numbers of isodopes.



This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration, or governmental population density.



This hypothetical excessively dense quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.



When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) - an element which radiates an equal amount of energy as Gv, due to its characteristic action of incorporating half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[kevinsatterfield]

Thanks Alaskastar....needed the laugh........

[wildman]

[Terry]

[AlaskaStar]

Well, another Element has been discovered. Read on.....


New Element Discovered

A major research institution (probably funded by a government subsidy) has
just announced the discovery of the most dense element yet known to science.
The new element has been named "Bushcronium". Bushcronium has one neutron,
12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The
symbol for Bushcronium is "Duh". Bushcronium's mass actually increases over
time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere
and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming
isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass".

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element
that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise,
since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.


The "nucular" reaction alluded to below where Du combines with Foxnewsium
(Fx) when bombarded by a moron beam yields: Duh + m (morons) + Fx = DumFx
which is sometimes phonetically pronounced to describe the nature of the
isodope produced.